The Manimony Trend: Men Getting Alimony from Their Ex-Wives

The man of the house used to unilaterally earn more money than the woman, but that is not necessarily so in the 21st century. Women continue to narrow the income gap, which has resulted in some unforeseen consequences, particularly when it comes to divorce.

"Interestingly enough, part of the ramifications of women getting better jobs, getting higher pay and receiving equal rights are certain penalties, such as orders of spousal support in divorce proceedings," says Kenneth Altshuler, president of the American Academy of Matrimony Lawyers (AAML), a professional organization for family law attorneys.

• As women begin to earn more, more men seek alimony.
• Lawyers accuse the family law system of inherent gender bias.
• Attorneys advocating for fathers' rights may actually hurt your case.

The Increasing Prevalence of "Manimony"

There are no hard statistics on how many more men receive alimony now than in the past. But there are some related statistics and plenty of anecdotes that point to a definite rise.

"I would call it a mini trend," says Ned Holstein, the founder of Fathers and Families, an advocacy group that pushes for family

court reform. "Gender roles in our society have largely converged, and the public strongly supports gender neutrality in matters of family court."

In addition, a study put out by the AAML in 2010 showed that 52 percent of divorce attorneys cited an increase in women initiating the request for aprenuptial agreement. This number indicates that women may be increasingly more concerned about protecting their assets in the event of a divorce.

But there's more than income that has prevented men from receiving spousal support from their wives. Experts cite the inherent gender bias in the family court system as a significant barrier to men receiving alimony, or manimony as some call it.

"Family courts are the last big bastions where gender bias is going forward unquestioned," Holstein says. "It occurs in all major issues, including spousal and child support. It's an archaic notion that is holding out, but it won't hold out forever."

Altshuler cites the fact that family court judges usually have a lot of discretion when it comes to making awards of spousal support. This, he says, can result in inherent gender bias.

"You can never take away the human factor," Altshuler says. "Most judges are male, and I'd say most male judges have a visceral rejection of the concept of women paying alimony to men because it is not traditionally what we in our society do. If you have a man making $300,000 and a woman making $50,000 versus the other way around, I would almost guaranty that the order for spousal support would be different 95 percent of the time."

Seeking Alimony as a Man

One of the other significant factors that affects why women receive alimony more often than men is that men simply don't seek spousal support.

"There is a substantial portion of men that don't want to ask for alimony from women because they don't see it as being very manly," Holstein says. "And they are entitled to that opinion."

But as gender roles within the office and in the home become less defined, the need for men to seek spousal is increasing as well.

Although each state has its own means when making determinations of alimony, the courts usually first look at the disparity of income. As women take on the role of breadwinner more frequently, a higher number of husbands will have incomes that are significantly lower than their wives.

Additionally, some courts also consider contributions as a homemaker. This goes back to when women were generally the prime caregiver within the relationship and would often sacrifice working for childrearing. Now, as more men assume the role of homemaker, there is a greater need for them to be fairly compensated at the end of a marriage.

If you are a man who is seeking a divorce and plan on requesting spousal support, there are some things you should consider when selecting a lawyer.

Holstein recommends seeking out an attorney who is familiar with the legal landscape in your jurisdiction.

"You are always best off choosing an attorney who knows the judges," Holstein says. "If you can find a way to ascertain which attorneys know the judges and what those judges believe, you are best off."

Altshuler says to seek out a family law attorneywho has ample experience advocating a position at trial.

"I would prefer a seasoned trial attorney over a lawyer that focuses primarily on mediation," Altshuler says. "The issue with mediation is that you are trying to reach an agreement, so it does not necessarily entail advocating a position."

As for lawyers that advertise themselves specifically as fathers' rights attorneys, both Holstein and Altshuler agree that it's merely a marketing gimmick. In fact, Altshuler believes that an attorney who represents himself as a fathers' rights lawyer can actually hurt your case.

"When you portray yourself that way, you lose credibility with the judge because the judge knows you are not advocating for your client but for a philosophy," Altshuler says. "Credibility is everything in family law."

By Keith Ecker

For more information on these matters, please call our office at 305 548 5020.

Twitter: www.twitter.com/yoelmolina_mo
Faceback page: www.facebook.com/lawofficeofyoelmolina
Linkedin profile: http://tinyurl.com/linkedinpagemo
Blog: http://tinyurl.com/molawblog

"Turn to us when you need help"